Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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