THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
