So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
