Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
