I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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