i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
