That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
