come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
