so that wasnt chicken after all
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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