Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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