People with herpes should wear stickers.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
