if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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