I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i was born a porn star she said
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
