She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
