Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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