she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
