ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
