Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
