i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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