let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
