I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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