her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She told me I should be a condom model.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
