Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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