So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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