So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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