We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
