hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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