fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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