we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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