it's like iHOP with fire
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
