Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
