I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
