Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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