Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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