hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
