Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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