Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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