I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
