I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
