so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i now understand why vodka
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
