Tell her she can't have a vagina
i would punch a child for taco bell
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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