You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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