The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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