So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
