i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
