I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
