Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There's always time for handjobs
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
