I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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