we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
