Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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