You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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